SquidBonk's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Seven Episode III -SKY-]

At least the effort was there.

This film has a perks such as decent settings and atmosphere. And the effort is obviously there. I suggest that for your next creation, you be careful with your pacing. There are issues with animation, but the pace of your film is much more critical at this point. Try showing your creations to friends and family and see if they can get into the story. This honest opinion should be something you always try to get so that you can grow as an artist. I barely made it through the first 'scene' but only because it has such a high score, so I expected more. The action scenes were really lacking because the pacing was so slow that it didn't feel like a struggle/battle so much as it felt like a slow motion dance that tried to accomodate some sort of story. The whole first scene was wholly unnecessary and just a place to insert a well liked song. Try to watch your films completely without music. If your attention is still being held to the film. that's a good sign. Try this even when your timing is done to music, the visuals should be able to hold up on their own. Good luck with your next creation.

Black-Crystal responds:

Actually my style is not to go straight into battle so u might think the scene 1 is useless..

My flash animation isnt perfect so the battle seem lacking and i know that i have the problem of getting people to understand the animation.

I am still improving from making these flash so my next creation will surely be better!Tks for your review

["The Mustache Contest"]

The most imaginative flash to date. Great humour.

That was just awesome. I had a smile on my face from the moment they gave each other a high five. Loved the fish wipes too. What a fantastic movie.

[Neil's Scrapbook]

stab stab stab stab

ooooaaAAGGHHHHH!! That shit burns worse than the syphilis!

Gaizka responds:

Well, I'd rather you had it than me, you worthless cunt.

[Negative 001 - The Call]

Great effort

Great effort on this, have a few pointers for you, seeing as you're willing to put time into your work.
The character motivation and staging is flawed in some places. Your characters look alright but there are many areas you could improve on. For example, when the black guy says "don't stand there, we gotta get outta here" The black guy was just standing there. You could have had him turn and run to the door noticing his buddy in shock before yelling to him. Not to mention the fact that there was no initial reaction or dive for cover after that first shot.

As far as staging goes, alot of it was fairly poor. I never understood that the girl was in the vent at first because of how bright it was, you could have darkened her up a lot having rays of light showing through from the vent openings. Not to mention the fact that she got into the vent and had to unscrew the opening... you think it would have been left open as an easy way to pick up the money after everyone ran off. There could have been a better conflict for her, getting stuck like that just made her seem ditzy.

I really like how you showed the drive of the two characters in the initial money trade by having them turn back for the cash, it helped round out their characters more, but the fact that they were meant as side characters yet easily outstaged the main characters was a mistake. Showing them in the initial shot makes the viewers think that they are the main characters in the story while the sniper and the girl in the vent are just supporting cast. Find a way to introduce the main characters and have their actions lead into the conflict. Also, be sure to use action to explain the story rather than speech. If you plan to create more past this, you could have easily left out the "alliance never happens" bit and left us wondering what the sniper's motives were. This would be rounded out and discovered in later episodes resulting in a greater climax and overall appeal to the characters and their situation.

And I just found a random helicopter flying in and stealing the suitcase just plain funny and ridiculous. It seemed like you couldn't think of anything else for these characters to run up against soooo... mmm... random person flies in, steals money, flies away. Even though the sniper can pick off a guy from a skyscraper in a standing position is already trained on their position.

Again, I like the effort you put into the animation and you said this is a first draft of an old comic. Be sure that you stage characters and situations clearly without using dialogue. A great story doesn't always need spoken words. Using it as an aid is alright, but not when it comes to story development. Stopping an alliance isn't nearly as interesting as a sniper getting his gun ready, trained on some stranger on a tower, the iron crosshairs ready to fire, yet remaining quiet. You see two shady people enter the scene knowing all the while this sniper is ready to take SOMEONE out. Why he does it isn't important at this point, who's going to get it becomes all that matters, and then the character development afterwards will do all the explaining.

Good luck on your next work, I hope you take some of the suggestions. Oh and good sound quality too.
(holy crap, long review)

Gear-Zero responds:

Yeah, when I started this I was alittle self concious about my fbf. Which was back in early spring when I didn't feel like fbfing a bunch of movements.

As for the vent situation, I've actually thought about those rays of light but for some reason I just never... layed them down. Azi IS supposed to be dizty but that's not I wanted to portray it.

The 2 guys making the deal ARE the main characters.

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it very much. I'll keep things like this in mind in future episodes.

[Miss Dynamite XVIII]

pretty good man

Love your illustration work. Good choice on the voice actresses too. A few critiques; The timing and pacing in most of your animations are consistently slow. Not to mention the animations all too often consist of moving mouths and blinking eyes. If that's your thing, then right on. Just seems a little slapdash for my tastes. I'd still far prefer to see these in comic book form rather than animation since you don't appear to have the time to make your illustration style a fluid animation. What if you were to experiment with limited motion but using a unique way to tell the story? In a manner similar to broken saints, using speech bubbles for narration. That way you can put more time into small bits of animation and loop them, retaining the comic book feel without having people like me feel like the animation isn't telling the story.

I like your surprise at the end of your April Fool's joke too. :) Good job.

[ONE GUN]

Hilarious

I couldn't stop laughing whenever the hitman was shooting! That just looked so damn funny. Reminiscent of the Gainax film 'Dead Leaves' and how the main character (in dead leaves) is firing a six-shooter where it cuts to the persuing police force being decimated with thousands of bullets. Pure comedic gold. The art in this one is pretty shoddy but at least it follows through with the entire idea. good job.

[the owners 2]

story! es muy mal !

bad story.
The man who was 'protecting' the bald guy didn't do anything. There was no reason for him to be there at all. One dimensional characters and plot. I'm sick of bad stories. The best graphics, music, or actors in the world can't save the worst stories. Work on it.

cicla responds:

ok
you know this its part of a history...
if you want action and blood and gore wait for the chapter 3... where: The man who was 'protecting' the bald guy will fight against the other one...so dont get desparate....

gracias!!!!

[Dogs Vol.2]

Couldn't follow the story at all.

That obviously took alot of effort. Sadly, I couldn't follow anything. It seemed like you tried to mix in like 5 stories that were completely irrelevant to each other. No explanations for the falling dogs... the beginning had promise, but it just didn't follow through. Sorry man. Good effort though. You'll have to learn what to include and exclude from shots to make sure your story stays on track.

[Bones]

Fantastic work man!

Awesome. The only thing I would have changed is a longer hold on the lip licking after the explosion. Awesome, awesome work!

[A New Beginning.]

I'm voting based on the first part

Because that was awesome! So funny! The music sold it for me. Great job :P

bigbadron responds:

Jesus smiles upon you.